Poems Writings

comfortable pain

β€œIt’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

why is emotional pain

so comfortably familiar?

 

almost delicious

the tears roll down my face

 

i take from my happiness

and give

 

give it away

like a piece of discarded

unwanted

household item

 

when it is my heart

beating outside my body

up for auction

 

stab stab

 

i stab my own

honour

 

my honour cries and scolds

my heart opens up

and swallows

all the ugliness

to wash it in my

river of

love prostitution

 

drained

i

am drained

 

my heart has to pour

hurry

my honour is empty

of tears

and courage

 

i sell love

and

 

only

salty wounds

remain

Do you ever find emotional pain comfortable?

 

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9 Comments

  1. This is so raw and gut-wrenching! <3 As Harlan Ellison said: Without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. Emotional pain can be a real cleanser at times πŸ™‚

    1. That’s beautiful, I really like that, sometimes we must lean into our feelings, no matter how hard.

      1. Very true! Plus it’s such a valuable way of expressing yourself. Hope you have a good week ahead πŸ™‚

  2. Powerful, Em. Fortunately, I haven’t suffered from severe emotional pain in many years. I think the worst emotional pain I’ve experienced to date was between 1992 – 1994. First, my 3-year relationship with my first real love ended. I was a wreck for months. Then about 2 years later, my best friend killed himself driving drunk, and that derailed me for damn near a year. When my Super Aunt or one of my parents dies, I will have a very difficult time coping.

    Peace!

    1. Denny, you squeezed my heart when you wrote about parents’ death. I have been dreading it since I was little, and OCD doesn’t help with getting rid of the thoughts. Maybe I will write about it someday so I can let go a little. (parents are both happy and healthy(ish), thankfully)!

      1. Same for mine, Em. I don’t like to think of their parting any more than I do of The Girl or The Boy growing up & moving out. I’ve become such an emotional being in my middle age. Stay happy!

        1. Thanks, you stay happy and awesome as well πŸ™‚

  3. Looking back on it, people (I, me) can find or have found emotional pain comfortable in cases such as when we grieve over the loss of a loved one.

    We are right to feel pain then, right?

    I mean, we really did love them, right?

    Even in pain, narcissism

    1. Your question really pinches a nerve in me, I have not done well in coping with loss. When my very young uncle passed away, I was depressed for a year, and I still can’t understand if I were sad for him, or me!

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