Poems Writings

I forgot…myself

“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

i forgot..i forgot that i wanted to be an artist

when i was young, i painted, and drew, and it fed my soul

 

when i grew up, there was a major to choose

i eyed art school

my parents’ arbitrary prejudices

shot an arrow to my fragile dream

they chose math

i compromised on english literature

 

i destroyed my paintings

in a dramatic teenage fashion

with a knife

 

it left a hole in my soul

i filled it with dwelling in art galleries

lost in my mind

unable to conjure meaning

i lost myself

alas

from a deep locked chest

where brains hide things

broke free the desire

 

i want(ed) to be an artist

 

among the noises of this chaos

oh, how easily

i forgot myself

did you ever forget a part of you along the way?

You may also like...

31 Comments

  1. How is WP making you use the gray box for poems?

    1. I can’t for the life of me format the stanzas in paragraph block, so I put them in a mode they have for poems and it comes in a grey box. I tried a few CSS codes to change the background to white with no luck. Any tips would be appreciated!

      1. I just use the old editor…
        They tried to push that new one on me, but for what I do in here, it was unnecessary…
        I’d suggest looking up how to switch back to classic editor if you’re using Gutenberg…

        1. Thank, I will, I surely don’t care for Gutenberg!

      2. There are a couple of ways to switch back. The absolute easiest one I found was a classic editor WP plugin. If you try to adjust settings without the plugin you have to remember to do it in two places, one is under settings>writing, the other is settings>page builder. When I changed only one of the settings, it didn’t work.

        As people become increasingly frustrated with the block editor, I anticipate easier ways to make the switch. I am staying with the classic editor as long as possible.

        1. Thanks so much! I switched (using the plug in) and crisis averted!

  2. Could resonate perfectly with this – and regaining the lost artist now – never too late.

    1. exactly…never too late, I am just glad that I found out what was missing

      1. Yes, me too!

  3. I understand exactly what you were saying. Parents had a way of shooting a hole in your dreams 😢 It’s never too late to resume them.
    PS You can use the block called Verse for poetry. I don’t get a grey box 🙂

    1. Yes, I won’t give up on art! And the editing crisis is resolved, I was able to switch back to the old editor 🙂

      1. Good job! Never give up in your dream 🙂👍

  4. Enjoyed your poem, but feeling sad. Don’t want you to give up on art!!!!! Fulfill your dreams!!!!! 💙
    Don’t know anything about a grey box for poetry!!!! :0

    1. I won’t, I am happy to find out what was missing, I can’t believe I blocked it out for years….Thanks Patty💙💙

  5. It’s not too late to start painting again! In fact, you should do it now while you’re still young! You could end up being like Bob Ross, except prettier.

    1. haha major Bob Ross envy here! I will definitely resume, I am happy to discover this repressed desire. And also realizing I am adult now and can do whatever I want!!!!! Thank you x

      1. Bob Ross was the man! Perhaps, if you feel up to it, you can share a painting or two on your blog? I know that could be anxiety-producing though, so no pressure!

        1. That’s actually a good idea, I’ll try to theme them up! thanks for the inspiration.

  6. One of my regrets is not having thrown more energy and effort into pursuing a writing career. I feel your pain, Em, and hope you find more time to create this year and every year to come.

    1. Thanks so much xx Well, if it’s of any help, you are fantastic writer now!

  7. It’s never too late to have another go at art.

    1. Indeed! I sure will do x

  8. Really heartfelt piece. Well written!

    1. Thank you x

  9. beautifully written!
    I had the same experience, but with sports. This year (at age 30) I’m learning how to skateboard. It is something I was always to afraid to commit to and I always regreted it. It is never to late to pick up an old passion!

    1. I am so glad to hear that! I will sure pursue my passion, very inspiring, thank you x

  10. The Eclectic Contrarian says:

    I confess I forget more than I like to admit…

    1. Our memories are nothing but sieves!

      1. The Eclectic Contrarian says:

        It’s a fog that I seem to travel in often.. 😕

Share your thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.