Poems

Panic attack

 

“Fear is the mind-killer.”

Frank Herbert, Dune

Yesterday

In the sleepy evening

On the solid sidewalk

I liquefied

 

Swallow

Swallow the tears

Inhale

Inhale the forest of terror

 

Poured the fright

Inside

And vomited my feelings

Violently

 

An invisible grip

Twisted my chest

Choked my breath

And filled my head

 

Reality mingled

Into a blurred tangle

I dropped

My mass on the ground

 

My lungs fought

Ferociously for air

A salty flow

Flooded my face

 

This will pass

I can’t breathe

It’s only a panic attack

I am dying

 

It did pass

The well of tears

Dried

I uncreased

 

Throbbing worry

Still stings

And I long

For my mother’s hug

 

So I just had my very first panic attack. It wasn’t a picnic, but life happens! Have you ever had or witnessed a panic attack?

 

 

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20 Comments

  1. Brilliant! My daughter suffers anxiety attacks, you could be describing her during an episode. 👍

    1. Em says:

      Sorry to hear that your daughter experiences this too, I hope this helps to maybe understand her better.

  2. They are pretty bad but breathing exercises can help. There are formal ways you can breathe but I find it too complicated and just put my hands on my belly and breathe into my belly. Although as with anything your mileage may vary.

    1. Em says:

      I do meditate and try to focus on my breathing, it helps greatly, I agree.

  3. I’m sorry you had to endure that and hope you don’t have to again, Em. Do you know what caused it? I’m fortunate to never have been through something like that. I have had a relatively easy and anxiety-free life.

    1. Em says:

      I’m so happy for you Denny, that’s awesome. I have general anxiety and sometime it peaks, I know at that certain moment what cause dit and I am working on it for prevention. Thanks so much for your kindness.

  4. That was fab! I had my first a few months ago, bloody horrible thing, I ended up a hyperventilating crying ball on the floor, hopefully never again, good on ya for sharing

    1. Em says:

      Oh sorry that you experienced this as well. I had the exact same reaction, hopefully it was the last time for both of us.

  5. Wow …. you described it so well! Yes, I’ve had a panic attack…. more like “ attacks” pleural!!! You captured the feeling perfectly!!!!! 👍

    1. Em says:

      I’m sorry to hear Patty, thanks for your good thoughts, here is to less and less panic attacks xx

  6. Oh yes. They have been a part of me here and there through out life. And old familiar popping in to say hi every once in a while.

    1. Em says:

      Sorry to hear that you are dealing with anxiety too, I hope that it gets less and less frequent.

  7. Yes. Fortunately I haven’t had one in a long time, but it can be horrifying. Wonderful, expressive write.

    1. Em says:

      Thank you. I hope that you don’t have one ever again. x

      1. Me too!

  8. Sorry to hear this happened to you.. panic attacks are terrifying, you really feel like you are going to die. And then after that when a similar situation you know might occur, it can amp up the intensity of the fear and anxiety. It’s important to figure out if there’s a trigger and any underlying reasons which might help you be on the look-out for the next time but honestly, sometimes it happens out of nowhere without reason too.
    I had several panic attacks last year and during one occasion, I ended up calling emergency services. After going to therapy, I feel like it’s helped a lot to tackle those underlying issues and I’ve only had one this year thus far! 😀

    1. Em says:

      Sophia, I’m sorry to hear, but glad that you are doing better. Thanks so much for sharing this. I am in therapy too and coincidentally had a session the day after this haha

      1. Yay, so glad to hear that! Therapy really helps so much, the benefits are unbelievable. I hope it works out for you!

  9. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced that. It’s pretty terrifying but I’m glad that you got through it. I’ve had a few panic attacks before too 🙁

    1. Em says:

      Thank you. I’m sorry as well, hope that none of has to go through it ever again x

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