Self assessment

“Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That’s me: I’m not that.” 
John Green

I often find myself scrambling.

Scrambling in my whirlpool of thoughts for … I don’t know what for, for clarity, I guess. 


And then, I had to write the dreaded bi-annual self-review at my job. I detest these self-evaluations, they take me to a dark place which I am sure, or at least hope, is not the aim of the company. 


Alas, I had to scramble once again to find the words that were the right amount of narcissist and humble to describe the wonders I have done in my role, and immediately follow with the plagues I have caused the job under discussion.


Assesseth mine own self. (Been reading a lot of Shakespeare lately)


Needless to say, there are very few instances I hate less than doing the above.  


Yet, I wrote, boasted, feigned modesty, and dissected the past six months under the microscope of corporate scrutiny (or silly games of greed as I like to think).


The review arrived and departed, all was well, all were happy with my performance. 


Shall I feel good about my self now? 


Perhaps. But there are still whispers in my ear demanding the self to stop scrambling.


Do you like to do self-assessments?


9 Responses

  1. Em, I’m sure you’re a much better employee than you think. Since I’ve been following you I’ve gotten the sense that you under-appreciate yourself, probably because of all the lies you were told growing up. You really do have a lot to offer the world.

  2. You’ve got so much to be proud of achieving! 🙂 Personally I really don’t enjoy self-assessments; it’s really tricky to try and sell your strengths properly without sounding cringingly narcissistic or over-emphasising your achievements.

  3. I despised doing self assessments at work. I kept telling them that my goal was to do a very good (great if possible) job and to continue doing it and get better at it. That wasn’t good enough. I find them quite….unuseful !

  4. Toward the end of my time with the State, we had to start writing self-assessments. It didn’t bother me that much apart from resenting having to spend my time on it instead of actually doing my job. In my present job, we don’t have to do our own assessments and are only subject to performance reviews annually.

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