short bangs

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
Amy Bloom

“are you sure?”

the stylist shoots the question from the eyes beneath his furrowed eyebrows.

“yes”,

i nod reassuringly.

he turns his thumb in the silver ring of the scissors, ever so slightly.

“it’s okay, it will just grow back”,

i reconfirm.

 

the cold edges of the blades kiss my forehead. irregular black lines float down to the floor.

 

some get caught on the skin of my face. the face that they hid for so long.

 

i cut my bangs short(er). from hovering right on my upper eyelid, they shrank to sit just before my eyebrows. why the drama, you ask?

 

i started wearing bangs to hide my face. because i didn’t like it. i still don’t love all of it. 

 

i was pressured by my parents to get a nose job (i didn’t, FYI). or to eat more because my face was skinny and my nose appeared bigger in comparison. to not catch chickenpox from my brother because it would leave scars on my face!! (i did catch the pox, FYI)

 

so my hair became my veil.

 

now it’s a half an inch shorter.

it’s not much, but it is a step. and i don’t hate the reduced length.

 

it’s nice to see my eyes again,

in full.

have you ever had a seemingly unjustified insecurity?

—  

9 Responses

  1. What???? Why would your parents pressure you to get a nose job? I’ve seen your face in your videos, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any part of it. What kind of horrible person would say such things to ANYONE??

    And all of my insecurities are perfectly qualified 😀

  2. As a man, the biggest insecurity I’ve had shouldn’t need naming. Other than that, the only other insecurity I’ve had is over literally everything else. I compared every part of me – every aspect of my appearance, every trait, every skill – to my peers.

    Not any more though, I’m happy to say. It’s still a work in progress but my self-confidence is huge compared to what it was. 😊

    And if said it before, but I’ll say it again, your face is a good face.👌 Your parents didn’t know what they were talking about.

    1. really glad to hear your progress in increasing self-confidence. i always took self-confidence as arrogance, so i avoided it. oh, how naive and wrong i was..!

  3. Looks are of limited value in choosing acquaintances, colleagues, and friends. And … there is nothing wrong with your looks and presentation that I see on this blog. I like your words and thoughts which is why I follow you.

    Biggest unjustified insecurity? Every time I competed for a job that is the next rung up, I felt insecure. Was I really good enough to deal with new responsibilities?

    Retirement is fun.

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