Summer blues

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”
John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America

Every year, I impatiently wait for summer to arrive.

 

The dread of winter, the dry cold consuming all will and all life will pass. And there will come the joyous warmth of summer. Giving life to the yellow grass, decorating the naked trees in green ecstasy.

 

The possibilities are endless. Too endless. I get paralyzed. And oh, summer fleets so fast. Slips through my fingers and steadfastly runs through all the numbers on the clock.

 

The loss of the sun-showered moments, the grief of what could have been, the slow pathetic approach of my birthday, perching at the end of August.

 

I am grateful for my eyes that see, my ears that hear, my feet that walk, and the metaphorical bread that nourishes me.

 

Yet, somewhere in the corner of logic and wistfulness, my mind mourns the lost opportunities.

 

I have the want. I lack the will.

 

I would blame depression, OCD, anxiety, and all the melancholy that squeeze my brain. But I am a big girl now.

How’s your summer going?

 

27 Responses

  1. It’s going faster than I care for it too. But I love fall, and winter. I mean, I love REAL fall and REALL winter. Not the bouncing back and forth between seasons within a season. 🙂

      1. When you figure out how … lemme know … though I WOULD need to reserve the ability to make time fly (say, during long distance flights or while waiting at the airport for a delayed flight or … ). Oh well. Can NOTHING be simple any more? 😉

  2. I like the quote at the beginning. I think there is a lot of truth in these words…
    And after all, there is still a lot of time left in this year’s summer. So, there are still a lot of opportunities ahead of us all.

  3. Beautifully written, Em. Summer is going too fast. Anxiety and depression is the crippling self-doubt that won’t stop pestering, sadly. It’ll just be there sometimes…

  4. My summer’s been as boring as a four-letter word that starts with the letter s; I’ve spent nearly all of it indoors staring at a computer screen.

    Summer is a wonderful time of year, but lately I’ve been thinking about winter a lot. I’m quite looking forward to spending my ‘power time’ in a place that actually gets some snow this coming year.

    1. I’ve also been staring at the TV, and feeling guilty for not taking advantage of the sun and all the events that are going on. Winter will get here super fast, hang in there.

  5. Summer is extremely hot this year and just getting hotter – the UK is experiencing a major heatwave pretty much like the rest of the globe. Tomorrow they are already nicknaming it Friday Furnace when they expect temperatures in some places to hit 40 – that is high temps for here.

  6. My Beloved Sandra and I just returned to our mountain after a two-week vacation beside a quiet lake only a few hours away. Sandra’s idea of the perfect vacation is: ocean, beach, hotel. Mine is: lake, woods, cabin. Sometimes she lets me win. Most years, she just goes to the ocean & I stay home on the deck, looking at our mountain. We’re both cool with that.

    You might enjoy this: https://rlavalette.wordpress.com/2018/07/29/maine-surf/

    1. I like both of these vacations, I love the beach and I love the woods. I really liked the poem thanks for sharing. It’s exactly how I feel about surfing and rocky beaches!

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