comfortable pain

β€œIt’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

why is emotional pain

so comfortably familiar?

 

almost delicious

the tears roll down my face

 

i take from my happiness

and give

 

give it away

like a piece of discarded

unwanted

household item

 

when it is my heart

beating outside my body

up for auction

 

stab stab

 

i stab my own

honour

 

my honour cries and scolds

my heart opens up

and swallows

all the ugliness

to wash it in my

river of

love prostitution

 

drained

i

am drained

 

my heart has to pour

hurry

my honour is empty

of tears

and courage

 

i sell love

and

 

only

salty wounds

remain

Do you ever find emotional pain comfortable?

 

9 Responses

  1. This is so raw and gut-wrenching! <3 As Harlan Ellison said: Without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. Emotional pain can be a real cleanser at times πŸ™‚

  2. Powerful, Em. Fortunately, I haven’t suffered from severe emotional pain in many years. I think the worst emotional pain I’ve experienced to date was between 1992 – 1994. First, my 3-year relationship with my first real love ended. I was a wreck for months. Then about 2 years later, my best friend killed himself driving drunk, and that derailed me for damn near a year. When my Super Aunt or one of my parents dies, I will have a very difficult time coping.

    Peace!

    1. Denny, you squeezed my heart when you wrote about parents’ death. I have been dreading it since I was little, and OCD doesn’t help with getting rid of the thoughts. Maybe I will write about it someday so I can let go a little. (parents are both happy and healthy(ish), thankfully)!

  3. Looking back on it, people (I, me) can find or have found emotional pain comfortable in cases such as when we grieve over the loss of a loved one.

    We are right to feel pain then, right?

    I mean, we really did love them, right?

    Even in pain, narcissism

    1. Your question really pinches a nerve in me, I have not done well in coping with loss. When my very young uncle passed away, I was depressed for a year, and I still can’t understand if I were sad for him, or me!

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